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What I thought my life "should" be vs. what it is


I am about to share with you what I thought my life “should/would” be vs. what it is, but let me first say, PRAISE Jesus my life is exactly as it is, He knows what is good, and I don’t…


Growing up a lot of my dreams and aspirations of who I would be and what I would do revolved around who I would be with, specifically who I’d marry. It was something I put on a pedestal early on in my life.

I thought I’d save so much of my life to experience with that person.

I thought once I was with them, we’d do it all together.

I didn’t want to do the big things in life without them.

Then I realized, it wasn’t just that I didn’t want to, I didn’t believe I could do the big things without them.

I thought I needed that person to be complete enough to do the tough things.

But life kept going, and so did I.


And things look much much different than I once thought they should/ would:


I thought I’d stay close to home until I had someone to move away with.

I took a job in Ohio, and moved there by myself knowing no one over a year ago.


I thought I’d have roommates until I had a spouse to share a home with. But now I live by myself in a residential suburb filled with families and I’ve made my little home my safe place & I just love it.


I thought I’d wait to get a dog until I had someone to raise it with and enjoy the joys and learning curves that come with a puppy.

I got sweet Mozie girl a year ago and potty trained her myself. We’re 5 ear infections deep and attached at the heart and hip.


I thought I’d be church searching and finding community with someone.

I’ve walked into church alone and sat alone most sundays of this year. I’ve gone in and out of community groups looking for those single, young professionals because I believe they’re out there and we’re looking for each other.


I thought I’d get in the best shape of my life once I had a wedding to prepare for, but I’m doing it now, because why wait? I want to be proud of who I’m becoming everyday, not just in certain seasons.


I thought I’d run a marathon once I had someone to endure all those long runs with and carb-a-load with, but I’m capable and disciplined enough to run 26.2 miles on my own. It only takes my two feet. So I’m training for a marathon in September 2021.


I thought I’d have someone to help me figure out apartment negotiations, light bulbs, humidifier filters, car Bluetooth, enjoy movie nights with, killing bugs around the house, setting up insurance, meal prepping, vacuum shopping, gym memberships, cleaning up puppy throw up/pee & poop, remembering trash & recycle day, replacing smoke detector batteries,

someone to ride the ups & downs with.

But here we are...

Just Jesus, Grace & Mozie girl.

Praise JESUS that I got to do this stuff myself.

Because I have learned and, now, know and believe that I am able.

And now, I know and believe that Jesus is my person.

I am complete.

My cup overflows.

HE is my enabler.

It was my sweet and precious Savior all along.

Not one breath was out of His presence.

He’s never missed a moment and never will.

He is good.

He is trustworthy & true.

Here’s to all the lifetime of figuring out left to learn.

Here’s to all my breaths with my longest Friend.

Because of every gift of figuring things out solo—that I once saw as lonely and heavy—I now see as gifts of growth and quality time with Jesus.

Let’s go Lord.

And HE is faithful and forever.

Together, we’ll press on with purpose and our gaze on eternity.


“The Lord is my shepherd;

I have all that I need.” Psalm 23:1


“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” 1 Corinthians 13:12


“Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63:3


“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

Lamentations 3:24


“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9


“...my cup overflows.”

Psalm 23:5



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